Friday 18 July 2014

The Kingdom of Heaven is... (part 1)

I wrote this sketch some time ago. I considered turning it into a story but it works perfectly well as a sketch so I am leaving it that way. There are two parts to it. I'll publish the 2nd part soon.

Based on the fact it is hard for the rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
Parts:
·         Shop keeper (Always happy and always smiles)
·         Rich Man lost (Unbelieving of everything)

Scene opens with one man stood in his shop behind the counter. There is nothing on his counter or around him. The Rich Man lost walks in.
Shop Keeper
Good morning sir. Welcome to my shop. I’m very glad you found me. What can I do for you today?
Rich Man lost
(Nods and looks around) Hello. Your, err shop, looks a bit sparse. What do you sell?
Shop Keeper
(makes a sweeping gesture to his counter and looks down at what he has revealed and smiles broadly)
Rich Man lost
(looks down at the counter and opens his eyes wide) Oh wow, look at that. It is amazing, wonderful, beautiful…it’s just… I’ve never seen anything like it (pause). What is it?
Shop Keeper
It is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Rich Man lost
Oh wow. (Pause)How much is it?
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
You see I have a bit of money and I could pay for it.
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
Well I couldn’t pay much, once my accountant has taken his fee out of my earnings for all my businesses; I’ve got a few you know.
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
Plus I have to pay the taxman an inordinate amount due to sitting in the high income bracket.
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
It’s bound to be expensive, I can see that. I could take some cash out of one of my offshore accounts I suppose.
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
I can’t afford … (pause) sorry you said it’s free?
Shop Keeper
Yes
Rich Man lost
Why, what’s wrong with it? (pause and looks again) It looks truly perfect. Look, I’ve learned that you never get anything for free.
Shop Keeper
Well this is.
Rich Man lost
It can’t be.
Shop Keeper
It is
Rich Man lost
It isn’t
Shop Keeper
(Forceful for the first time) It is.
Rich Man lost
Well if I had this there would be no point in me having everything I own. I’d have to give it all up. What I own pales into insignificance against the wonder of …what did you say it was again?
Shop Keeper
The Kingdom of Heaven
Rich Man lost
Yes, the Kingdom of Heaven. (Pause) How about I give you a regular amount?
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
Or, or, or I could devote some of my time, or all of my time to working for the Kingdom of Heaven.
Shop Keeper
It’s free
Rich Man lost
(Pause) It’s free. (Pause) OK, can I think about it?
Shop Keeper
Of course you can.
Rich Man lost
Ok, I’ll come back later (Walks slowly and sadly off stage, looking back constantly)
Shop Keeper

How hard it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. (Pauses as another person enters the store) Good morning sir. Welcome to my shop. I’m very glad you found me. What can I do for you today?