Monday 29 December 2014

The Grudge

Nursing The Grudge
Based on the fact God calls us to forgive for good reason. Nursing a grudge can ruin your life.

Parts:
1x the Grudge Bearer
1x the Friend
1x the Grown up Grudge (ideally needs to be very tall but definitely needs to be taller than the other two)

The only prop is a doll (or anything) that can be wrapped in blankets and made to look like a baby wrapped in cloths. No one gets to see what’s inside the cloths.

Scene:
Empty stage then the Grudge Bearer and the Friend enter the stage from opposite sides. Grudge Bearer is carrying a baby lovingly in their arms. Throughout the sketch the Grudge Bearer is very attentive to the Grudge for example cooing at them and tickling them under the chin.
As they walk on they see each other, they smile and greet each other...
Grudge Bearer
Hello my friend how are you?
Friend
Very well, very well indeed, and what about you? I see you have a new addition (looks at the baby). Coo, hello little one. (Back to Grudge Bearer) What is it?
Grudge Bearer
It’s my grudge.
Friend
(To baby and talks in baby voice) I can see it’s a grudge your nursing.
(Back to Friend) What I meant was - what is it, how’d it happen? 
Grudge Bearer
Oh I see, it was an accident.
Friend
Really, an accident...yes well these things happen. Didn’t you err, take any umm, have any...er you know (nods and winks)...
Grudge Bearer
Any what? (shakes head not understanding)
Friend
You know, it was an accident. So didn’t you (winks again), couldn’t you – you know...
Grudge Bearer
(Dawns on him what the Friend is getting at) Oh I see. Sorry. Oh no, I couldn’t FORGIVE them.
Friend
But forgiveness can prevent unwanted grudges.
Grudge Bearer
I know but this time it really couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t possibly forgive them. It hurt me.
Friend
What about them. Didn’t they want forgiveness.
Grudge Bearer
They did but I don’t want to give it. (talk to baby in baby voice) Besides I like my little grudge. I loves it I do, yes I do, boo boo boo boo booooooo.
Friend
(to baby) Ahh look it’s smiling (goes to tickle baby under the chin) Ouch it bit me.
Grudge Bearer
(still in baby talk) Well you shouldn’t go talking about forgiveness in front of it like that.
Friend
Oh I see, I’m sorry.
Grudge Bearer
(Still in baby talk and talking to the baby) I’m not interested in sorry, no I’m not. Not at all. (blows raspberry at baby)
Friend
Oh I see, OK then. Well er...it was nice seeing you. I’ll be off then...bye (Walks off stage)
Grudge Bearer
(Looks up and realises friend has gone) Oh, where’d they go. Typical. People don’t care about me.

Grudge Bearer walks off stage in the other direction to the Friend.
Grudge Bearer, whilst walking off, is tutting and mumbling about no one being interested or caring about them whilst at the same time Friend walks back on and simply turns to the audience to announce it is 12 months later after which the Grudge Bearer walks back on to the stage. They no longer have the baby but is now holding hands with the Grown Up Grudge.

Throughout the second half of this sketch Grown Up Grudge is not interested in what is going on. He stands there with a frown on their face most of the time and has the occasional scowl.

Grudge Bearer walks up to Friend.
Friend
Hello there, it’s been 12 months since we last met, how are you? (Friendly)
Grudge Bearer
OK I suppose.
Friend
(Turns to Grudge)... and who is this.
Grudge Bearer
This is my little grudge. You met last year – (annoyed) remember?
Friend
Oh yes... oh my... hasn’t it grown!
Grudge Bearer
(happier) Yes it has really blossomed.
Friend
This is the same one, the (whispers) accident?
Grudge Bearer
Yes.
Friend
(stands back in awe at the size) Wow!
Grudge Bearer
Ruined my life that accident.
Friend
How?
Grudge Bearer
My partner has left me. My friends hardly talk to me anymore. My performance at work has gone done and I’m on the verge of being sacked. 
Friend
The accident caused all that?
Grudge Bearer
If it wasn’t for the accident I wouldn’t have to nurse my grudge everyday. They said (turns to the grudge) my little grudgy wudgy was getting in the way. They say it is always there, everywhere I go, everything I say. They say I should let go (Grown Up Grudge clings on to Grudge Bearer) but I can’t...look at him
Friend
But it’s not really the accident it’s the Grudge...
Grown Up Grudge starts to get agitated and begins to cry.
Friend
...(getting a bit worried so speaks to one side) I know we mentioned the F word last time we met. Have you given it any more thought.
Grudge Bearer
DON’T USE THAT SORT OF LANGUAGE NEAR HIM!  if it wasn’t for the accident, I wouldn’t have my grudgy (turns to Grudge and talks in baby language again and has to sooth him). Whose a lovely little grudge then, you are, yes you are (blows a raspberry on it’s face and Grudge gives a scary looking smile at Friend and then the audience before returning to a frown and generally looking surly). 
Friend
He’s not little is he?
Grudge Bearer
Not you as well.
Friend
Pardon?
Grudge Bearer
You, you’re criticising. Aren’t you?
Friend
I’m not. I would suggest that forgiveness, there I’ve said it, could go a long way to sorting out your life.
Grudge Bearer
No it wouldn’t, and besides it’s gone too far now. I couldn’t possibly back down and, and, and... this grudge is my life.
Friend
But forgiveness could ...
Grudge Bearer
(Very angry) You’re just like all the rest. Never see my side. What about me. I’m so hurt and angry and this grudge never gives me time to think about anything else. You make mad. C’mon (storms off dragging Grown Up Grudge behind them).
Friend
(Shouting after Grudge Bearer)... but F is also the beginning of Freedom.
(Pause)
(Turns to the audience) F is also the beginning of Freedom.