Lost
and Found
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A sketch with a twist that challenges our zeal for evangelism
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Parts in order of appearance:
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Husband
·
Beggar
·
Wife
A husband opens the door quietly so as not to disturb his wife, who
is off stage, and then turns and beckons his new friend, a beggar he has just
befriended, into the house (onto the stage). They both step through the door.
The husband is keen not to disturb his wife until he has the chance to
explain who he has brought home.
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Husband
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(Quietly) Come in, Come in.
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Beggar
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(Not quiet but not loud either) Thank you so much for all you are
doing for me.
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Husband
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Oh that’s quite alright. It’s what Christ calls us to do as
Christians. (still quiet and looking around nervously)
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Beggar
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I know, you keep telling me, and I am grateful. Ever since you
started talking to me in the subway…
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Husband
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Shhhh. I don’t want you to startle my wife.
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Beggar
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Sorry!
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Husband
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Don’t apologise, it will be OK. Now don’t worry, I do want you to
meet her. Besides you’ll have to meet her otherwise she will wonder who it is
in the shower when you are up there.
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Wife
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(Shouting from off stage)
Husband, is that you. You’re late again. You’ve not brought another
beggar home have you?
(Awkward silence then she walks on stage and stares at husband then
looks at beggar and says politely to him)
Good evening.
(Turns back to husband and stares angrily hands on hips and tapping
her feet)
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Beggar
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Good evening, nice to meet you.
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Wife
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(smiles again at beggar and turns attention back to husband and
stares expectantly)
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Husband
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(Strides over to his wife, arms open and hugs her) Hello darling. I’m
home.
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Wife
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Again! (Doesn’t respond to hug)
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Husband
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I always come home?
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Wife
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Yes, you do don’t you! This is the third beggar you’ve brought home
this week.
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Husband
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I know, but you know God calls all Christians to give. (Turns to
Beggar) Please take a seat in our lounge. Make yourself at home.
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Beggar
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Thank you. (Walks to edge of stage and takes a seat and reads a paper)
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Wife
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(Takes husband to one side and from now on the conversation is meant
to be out of ear shot of the beggar) I have no food left.
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Husband
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None at all?
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Wife
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How am I meant to feed him and us? I only have a meal for two left in
the freezer. I was going shopping tomorrow.
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Husband
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We can split it 3 ways can’t we?
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Wife
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Tut! I suppose… (Sniffs). What’s that smell?
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Husband
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I can’t smell anything.
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Wife
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It’s him isn’t it?
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Husband
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Oh that smell. It’s what I brought him back for.
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Wife
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For a shower?
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Husband
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Yes
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Wife
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OK, but keep an eye on him as we lost our toothbrushes last time and
I had to go to my pilates class with breath that could peel wallpaper.
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Husband
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How can I keep an eye on him in the shower? It’s a bit rude me stood
in there with him...
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Wife
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Well I can’t can I?
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Husband
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No, I suppose you can’t.
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Wife
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(Pause then suddenly pointing) Why is he wearing my slippers?
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Husband
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He has small feet.
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Wife
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What?
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Husband
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And he had nothing to keep his feet warm. He was homeless.
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Wife
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I know God calls us to give, but those are my best slippers. At least
you’ve given him your scarf, although I did give you it for your birthday. It
took me ages to find one like that.
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Husband
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In the early Church they shared everything according to those who had
need.
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Wife
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Yes but they were in the same Church. They were sharing things with
each other in the same Church.
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Husband
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He is in our Church.
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Wife
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No he isn’t. Our church isn’t that big and besides I would have
smelled him.
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Husband
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He is a new member.
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Wife
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How new?
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Husband
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About 2 hours ago.
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Wife
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(Startled) 2 hours ago?
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Husband
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When he became a Christian.
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Wife
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Hold on a minute. You said about the early Church sharing things. How
much have you shared exactly?
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Husband
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Your slippers as he had no shoes.
(Pause)
And my hat.
(Pause)
My belt as his trousers were about to fall down.
(Longer pause)
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Wife
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And?
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Husband
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My sandwich as he had no food.
(Pause)
And my drink. Actually I am a bit thirsty. I would love a cup of tea.
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Wife
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Don’t change the subject. What else have you given him…
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Husband
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He has no money so I gave him some of ours.
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Wife
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OK how much, £5 or £10?
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Husband
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A tad more than that. He has nothing. Only the clothes he is wearing.
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Wife
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Ok, ok but how much. It’s the end of the month and I don’t have much
for the shopping tomorrow as it is. Hold on, oh no, you’ve not given him all
our shopping money have you?
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Husband
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(Awkward shuffle) Oh no I didn’t do that.
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Wife
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That’s a relief, we have to eat as well you know.
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Husband
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I gave him our savings.
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Wife
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(Explodes) OUR WHAT?
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Beggar
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(At the shout he looks over)
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Husband
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Sorry! Didn’t mean to disturb you.
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Beggar
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That’s alright. I’m not causing any problems am I?
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Husband
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No not at all. No problems (Beggar returns to what he was doing and
husband turns back to wife trying to calm her)
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Wife
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(In an angry staccato tone) You… gave… him… our… savings…. All of it?
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Husband
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In the Bible the rich young ruler had to give up all he had to follow
Jesus. I didn’t want to go away sad like he did.
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Wife
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Yes but all of it? Why on earth would you … oh no …hold on … he’s
homeless. Tell me you’ve not given him our home.
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Husband
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(Pause) Not exactly. We do have a spare room though.
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Wife
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He’s moving in?
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Husband
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Yes
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Wife
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(Angrily) When?
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Husband
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After his shower.
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Wife
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He can’t. My mother is coming to staying this week!
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Husband
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Sorry, I forgot.
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Wife
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She’ll be here tomorrow. Where can she sleep?
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Husband
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Good question. (Thinks and then has an idea) I know, after his shower
he can take a drive…
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Wife
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(Interrupts) He can take a drive? HE CAN TAKE A DRIVE? How can he
take a drive he hasn’t got a car!
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Husband
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(Smiles awkwardly) He needs a car so he can find a job. I gave him
your car so he can …
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Wife
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(Interrupts again) My car? You gave him my car? Why not your car? He
only joined the Church 2 hours ago and you’re … etc
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(The argument goes on in the background – a bit of ad libing is
called for here. The Beggar stands up and walks to the front to address the
audience)
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Beggar
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I may be a bit new to all this, having just become a Christian, but
even I can see there are a lot of questions to be answered here. Questions
like – How much should a Christian give? Who should they give to? When should
you share with Church members? Should you give to Beggars? (Nods towards
Husband and Wife) Should they get marriage guidance? These are questions I
can’t answer. All I know is 2 hours ago I was lost, but now, thanks to this
mans actions, I am found. How much are you prepared to give to win souls for
Jesus?
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Tuesday, 24 February 2015
Lost and Found
Monday, 2 February 2015
Hope and Encouragement are good friends
Encouragement and Hope were good friends. One day they were walking
down the street, having a chat and looking out for people to encourage and give
hope to when they found a man who was lost and couldn’t see anyway he would
have a future for himself. Hope sat down with him and talked to him and gave
him hope – It’s what he does. Encouragement talked to him about the good things
he could see in the man and how he could use these good things – It’s what he
does as well.
They walked with the man for a while until the man was ready
to go on his own, and then he did. This is what Encouragement and Hope do.
Encouragement and Hope walked on. Encouragement turned to Hope
and commented on the fact that the words Hope had just used were perfect for
the man they had just met. Hope explained he had learned from an old friend
called Trust that it is best to allow the words to come from the heart. Encouragement
said how he would like to meet Trust. Hope thought he already had.
Now as they were having this discussion, they turned down a
small alleyway and bumped into Hindrance and Impossibility. These two were
their nemesis. It has to be said it was strange how no matter where Encouragement
and Hope went, they always found Hindrance and Impossibility weren't far away. Anyway,
these ne’er-do-wells were determined to discourage and create hopelessness
amongst all people. The found if they could do this it would lead people to
Hatred. Now you need to know, wherever Hindrance and Impossibility lurked, and
they were particularly good at lurking, you could always rely on their gang
leader Hatred being just around the corner. The more people that Hatred had in his gang
the stronger and more powerful he became.
The four of them bumping into each other was literal. They
bumped into each other as they walked down a narrow alleyway (These sort of
things always happen in narrow alleyways). Hope and Encouragement greeted them
and politely asked them to move. Hindrance responded simply by deliberately
getting in the way, and Impossibility sneeringly pointed out he could not possibly
move. The four of them stood staring into each other’s eyes, not in a nice way
either. Their eyes narrowed and tension mounted. Hope and Encouragement were
peace loving but were not afraid to get into a battle should the matter rise to
the level of combat.
As fists clenched and nostrils flared, the tension mounted. Then
Hope turned to Encouragement and said “You, know we don’t need to fight today.”
Encouragement nodded “It wouldn’t be fair” he said “considering
whom we’ve arranged to meet.”
The two of them agreed and started to back out of the
alleyway. Hindrance and Impossibility snarled and growled about how there was
no hope of them escaping, that it was impossible to get away, and how they
should give up. They paused for a moment to consider what Encouragement meant
about it not being fair and who exactly they were meeting. The pause didn’t last
long, as Hindrance and Impossibility suddenly smiled.
In normal circumstances Hope and Encouragement like a smile
and positively encourage the facial activity, but it has to be said they didn’t
like these particular smiles. The reason for the smiles, was that Hindrance and
Impossibility had spotted their leader Hatred who was slowly and menacingly creeping
up behind Hope and Encouragement. He was good at creeping up on people. He got
closer, beside him was his fearsome sidekick Anger. They both crept silently as
Hope and Encouragement were backing out of the alleyway. The thing with Hatred
is he didn’t like to let Hindrance and Impossibility out on their own. He
always wanted to make sure they did exactly what he told them to do, he had
obviously never met Trust.
As our two friends backed out of the alleyway, they saw the crooked
aggressive smiles on the faces of Hindrance and Impossibility. They heard their
snarling and the growling words becoming stronger, telling them they had no way
of getting out of this, spitting the words out at them.
Then they heard Anger growl, and then Hatred simply said ‘At
last I can finish you’
Hope and Encouragement turned. They stood face to face with
Anger and Hatred.
Hope and Encouragement smiled.
Hatred was infuriated by what he saw as belligerence on
the part of Hope and Encouragement. Hatred and Anger roared and stepped forward
fists raised ready to annihilate Hope and destroy Encouragement, but they both
suddenly stopped just before throwing the first punch.
The stopped as they stared in disbelief over the shoulders
of Hope and Encouragement as the figures of Hindrance and Impossibility flee
out the other end of the alleyway.
How dare they! Hatred and Anger fuelled by hatred and anger
(obviously), raised their fists again, but yet again stopped, as this time from
behind them, they heard footsteps. Did these footsteps belong to the one Hope
and Encouragement had arranged to meet? Was this why they were still smiling?
Realisation dawned on Hatred. He knew and really loathed
those footsteps. He knew exactly who they belonged to and he knew he could not
defeat the one making them, no matter how he might try, oh and he had tried.
Anger wanted to fight, he always wanted to fight. Hatred lowered his fists,
Anger copied. Hatred looked at the two friends “Is it Love behind me?” he
asked. Hope and Encouragement nodded.
Hatred fled. Anger looked back, he saw Love and thought
about staying, but quickly decided this was no place for him today and ran
after Hatred.
Love walked up to Hope and Encouragement. Love was strong,
Love was big, Love was beautiful and brave. Love greeted Hope and Encouragement
with a smile and a big warm hug. Love won again.
This type of conflict happens all day every day, be strong
and get to know Hope and Encouragement, meet their friend Trust and do
everything knowing Love is the best and strongest of all, and of course …
…we all
know who Love is.
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